Slipped Away
by wItHouT a tRacE fReAk
Summary: She couldn't admit that he wasn't there anymore


**Disclaimer**: All characters do not belong to me.

**Author's Note**: The song is Avril Lavigne's "Slipped Away".

_I miss you  
__I miss you so bad  
__I don't' forget you  
__Oh it's so sad_

The rain pelted at her windows; thunder rumbled outside and lightening brightened the darkened apartment. Besides the occasional lightening, the only source of light came from the glowing fire. The flickering flames caste a shadow over Sam. Se gazed into it as if trying to make sense of the fire. An empty hole ached within her heart and she couldn't will it away.

_I hope you can hear me  
__I remember it clearly_

Screaming, gunshots and voices all blended together in her head until she couldn't distinguish one from another. She couldn't go to sleep because all that came rushing back to her and it wouldn't go away.

_The day you slipped away  
__Was the day I found  
__It won't be the same  
__Oh_

FLASHBACK

"He's not coming out for a long time, Jack." Sam told him, resting her head against the window. They were coming up on five hours on their stake-out and the sitting was numbing her legs.

"Well, we still need to watch." Jack said. "So, how are things with Martin?"

Sam smiled at the thought. They'd been going out for nearly two years and just recently, Martin had moved in with her. "Things are going great."

"I'm glad to hear." Jack said.

They went back to watching their suspect. Half an hour later, Jack decided to go back to the office. On the way back, they heard Danny's voice over the radio.

"Shot fired! Request back-up now!" Danny yelled. In the background, more gunshots were heard.

Jack turned the car around and headed to where Danny and Martin were staked out. It wasn't long until they heard Danny again.

"We've got an office down! Get an ambulance out here! And where's the damn back-up?!"

Sam held her breath, praying that it wasn't Martin who was shot as Jack sped even faster to get to them.

END FLASHBACK

_I didn't get around to kiss you  
__Good-bye on the hand  
__I wish that I could see you again  
__I know that I can't_

Sam pulled herself off the couch and walked into the bedroom. Numbly, she changed and got into bed. Tomorrow would be her first day back at work but her eyes refused to close.

FLASHBACK

Jack stopped the car but Sam was already out before the engine was shut off. She looked around for Martin but couldn't find him. She spotted Danny and ran over to him.

"Danny! Where's-" She stopped short when she saw his shirt covered in blood. "No. No…"

"I'm so sorry, Sam." Danny told her, confirming what she already knew.

Behind him, Sam saw a sheet covering a body. A sob escaped from her as she realized it was Martin under it. She tried to run towards Martin but Danny grabbed her around the waist and held onto her. Sam tried to escape from his grasp but Danny held onto her tightly.

"Martin! Martin!" Sam cried out. She kept struggling against Danny, kicking and hitting him but eventually the fight wore out of her and she collapsed against him in tears.

END FLASHBACK

_I hope you can hear me  
__I remember it clearly_

A tear made a trail from her eyes and Sam didn't bother to wipe at it. For the past month, all she had done was cry. Sometimes she caught herself talking to him as if he was still here. As if Martin hadn't really left her.

_The day you went away  
__Was the day I found  
__It won't be the same  
__Oh_

FLASHBACK

Sam stepped forward and placed a white rose above his headstone. She wiped at the tears falling with the balled-up tissue in her hand.

"Hey, Martin," she whispered, "I really miss you but, uh, then again you probably know that." Sam paused to take a deep, shuddering breath before continuing. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you…when you got shot." She looked over to where Danny and the team waited for her. "I-I just wanted to say I'm not saying good-bye yet, Martin."

END FLASHBACK

_I've had my wake-up  
__Won't you wake-up  
__I keep asking why  
__I can't take it  
__It wasn't fake  
__It happened you pass by_

Sam took a deep breath before stepping out of the elevator and into the Missing Person Unit. Her eyes immediately went to Martin's desk, which was now empty of his belongings. In her mind's eye, she could see Martin working at his desk and turning around to smile at her. Tears welled up and she would've broken down right then and there if Danny hadn't shown up.

"Hey sweetie." Danny whispered, pulling her in for a hug. "How are you doing?"

Sam sighed. "I still miss him."

"I know. We all do." Danny released her. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

"Sam, how you doing?" Jack asked, coming up behind Danny.

"Hey, Sam." Vivian greeted.

"Hi, Vivian," Sam said before turning to Jack, "I'm fine, Jack."

"I just wanted to tell you guys that we have a new agent coming in to, uh, to replace Martin." Jack announced, carefully watching Sam's reaction.

Sam was frozen. Jack's words seemed to fly by her. _Replace…Martin?_ Excusing herself quickly she made her way to the break room.

_Now you're gone  
__Now you're gone  
__There you go  
__There you go  
__Somewhere I can't bring you back_

Sam's head was spinning by the time she got to the break room. An agent was replacing Martin. Until now, Sam hadn't exactly compromised with the idea that Martin was gone. But now, the realization hit Sam like a train.

Suddenly, something in her snapped. Sobs racked her body and tears began to fall as rage consumed her. She grabbed a chair and hurled it across the room.

_Now you're gone  
__Now you're gone  
__There you go  
__There you go  
__Somewhere you're not coming back_

Danny was looking through old case files when he heard a crash coming from the break room. Dropping the file, he ran over to find the room a complete mess…and Sam in the middle of it. Her eyes were red from crying and she looked torn.

Danny carefully crossed over broken shards of glass to Sam. As he touched her arm, she looked at him as if she just came out of a daze. Her lower lip began to quiver and tears fell again. His hand went behind her back and he hugged her tightly, letting her cry on his shoulders.

_The day you slipped away  
__Was the day I found  
__It won't be the same  
__Oh_

"He's gone, Danny. He's really gone." Sam cried, her voice muffled by his jacket.

"Sam.' He said softly.

"I never really admitted it until now." Sam continued to cry. "I miss him. Why did he have to leave? Why did he leave me?!"

Danny's heart broke for Sam's unanswered questions. He kissed her head. "I don't know, Sam."

_I miss you_


End file.
